More juggling jokes?

[thegoheads]

I was trying to think of some good juggling jokes the other day to
entertain some guests... so I searched and found these threads:

http://www.jugglingdb.com/news/thread.php?group=1&id=200076&highlight=jokes%2Cfunny

http://www.jugglingdb.com/news/thread.php?author=Colin%20E.&lang=el&id=59530&group=1

There are some good juggling jokes here, but there has to be more! Anyone
heard any good ones lately?

One of my favorites from the above threads is,

Q: What's the difference between a large pizza and a juggler?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.

That one really struck my funny bone for some reason.


Here are some additions:


(Heckler asks) Can you juggle chainsaws?!?
(Juggler replies) I used to. Until I cut both my arms off.... it's ok
though, they grew back.


Q: What do you call a juggler without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.


Q: How many jugglers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: At least 10... Only 1 to change the bulb, and the rest to critique his
form.


Q: Who is the toughest guy at the circus?
A: The juggler, of course, because he's got the most balls.


Did you hear about the fires at the circus?! They were in tents!
(pronounced like "intense")
(that one is cheesy, but I like it)


Feel free to share any good non-juggling related jokes as well... after
all, anyone reading this is probably bored enough to need a good laugh :)

[IeuanMaiden]

Post by thegoheads
I was trying to think of some good juggling jokes the other day to
http://www.jugglingdb.com/news/thread.php?

group=1&id=200076&highlight=jokes%2Cfunny

Post by thegoheads
http://www.jugglingdb.com/news/thread.php?

author=Colin%20E.&lang=el&id=59530&group=1

Post by thegoheads
There are some good juggling jokes here, but there has to be more! Anyone
heard any good ones lately?
One of my favorites from the above threads is,
Q: What's the difference between a large pizza and a juggler?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.
That one really struck my funny bone for some reason.
(Heckler asks) Can you juggle chainsaws?!?
(Juggler replies) I used to. Until I cut both my arms off.... it's ok
though, they grew back.
Q: What do you call a juggler without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
Q: How many jugglers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: At least 10... Only 1 to change the bulb, and the rest to critique his
form.
Q: Who is the toughest guy at the circus?
A: The juggler, of course, because he's got the most balls.
Did you hear about the fires at the circus?! They were in tents!
(pronounced like "intense")
(that one is cheesy, but I like it)
Feel free to share any good non-juggling related jokes as well... after
all, anyone reading this is probably bored enough to need a good laugh :)

What makes you a good 6 ball shower juggler?

I don't know, you just have to b1.


IM

[Ben Thompson]

Post by thegoheads

Post by thegoheads
I was trying to think of some good juggling jokes the other day to
http://www.jugglingdb.com/news/thread.php?

group=1&id=200076&highlight=jokes%2Cfunny

Post by thegoheads
http://www.jugglingdb.com/news/thread.php?

author=Colin%20E.&lang=el&id=59530&group=1

Post by thegoheads
There are some good juggling jokes here, but there has to be more! Anyone
heard any good ones lately?
One of my favorites from the above threads is,
Q: What's the difference between a large pizza and a juggler?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.
That one really struck my funny bone for some reason.
(Heckler asks) Can you juggle chainsaws?!?
(Juggler replies) I used to. Until I cut both my arms off.... it's ok
though, they grew back.
Q: What do you call a juggler without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
Q: How many jugglers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: At least 10... Only 1 to change the bulb, and the rest to critique his
form.
Q: Who is the toughest guy at the circus?
A: The juggler, of course, because he's got the most balls.
Did you hear about the fires at the circus?! They were in tents!
(pronounced like "intense")
(that one is cheesy, but I like it)
Feel free to share any good non-juggling related jokes as well... after
all, anyone reading this is probably bored enough to need a good laugh :)

What makes you a good 6 ball shower juggler?
I don't know, you just have to b1.
IM

That one's amazing! It's for a rather specific audience, but it's still
amazing.

[thegoheads]

A man is cutting down a tree using a chainsaw. A juggler walks by and
says, "Now, let's see you do that with a PX3!"


A bowler has just finished bowling a perfect game. A juggler walks by and
says, "Now, let's see you do that with a beanbag!"


A woman is eating an ice cream cone. A juggler walks by and says, "Now,
let's see you eat that ON FIRE!!!"


A man is sitting in a park reading a book. A juggler walks by and asks,
"So, how many books can you read at the same time?"

[Boppo]

A man is cutting down a tree using a chainsaw.  A juggler walks by and
says, "Now, let's see you do that with a PX3!"
A bowler has just finished bowling a perfect game.  A juggler walks by and
says, "Now, let's see you do that with a beanbag!"
A woman is eating an ice cream cone.  A juggler walks by and says, "Now,
let's see you eat that ON FIRE!!!"
A man is sitting in a park reading a book.  A juggler walks by and asks,
"So, how many books can you read at the same time?"
--
----== posted viawww.jugglingdb.com==----

I really like these. Jokes by jugglers, for jugglers.

-boppo

[thegoheads]

Post by thegoheads
A man is cutting down a tree using a chainsaw. A juggler walks by and
says, "Now, let's see you do that with a PX3!"
A bowler has just finished bowling a perfect game. A juggler walks by and
says, "Now, let's see you do that with a beanbag!"
A woman is eating an ice cream cone. A juggler walks by and says, "Now,
let's see you eat that ON FIRE!!!"
A man is sitting in a park reading a book. A juggler walks by and asks,
"So, how many books can you read at the same time?"

A totally normal looking person is sitting at a bus stop minding his own
business. A juggler approaches him and asks, "Are you a clown?"


best. joke. ever.

[VincentCarter]

It would be even better if you said that while juggling in front of him.

[Poor-]

In Soviet Russia, clubs juggle YOU!

[Nick Thomas]

Post by thegoheads
I was trying to think of some good juggling jokes the other day to

http://www.jugglingdb.com/news/thread.php?group=1&id=200076&highlight=jokes%2Cfunny
http://www.jugglingdb.com/news/thread.php?author=Colin%20E.&lang=el&id=59530&group=1

Post by thegoheads
There are some good juggling jokes here, but there has to be more! Anyone
heard any good ones lately?
One of my favorites from the above threads is,
Q: What's the difference between a large pizza and a juggler?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.
That one really struck my funny bone for some reason.
(Heckler asks) Can you juggle chainsaws?!?
(Juggler replies) I used to. Until I cut both my arms off.... it's ok
though, they grew back.
Q: What do you call a juggler without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
Q: How many jugglers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: At least 10... Only 1 to change the bulb, and the rest to critique his
form.
Q: Who is the toughest guy at the circus?
A: The juggler, of course, because he's got the most balls.
Did you hear about the fires at the circus?! They were in tents!
(pronounced like "intense")
(that one is cheesy, but I like it)
Feel free to share any good non-juggling related jokes as well... after
all, anyone reading this is probably bored enough to need a good laugh :)

How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb? 2. One to
actually change it, and the other to figure out the siteswap for it. :)

[Norbi]

Post by Nick Thomas
How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb? 2. One to
actually change it, and the other to figure out the siteswap for it. :)

Oooh, let's not get into the lightbulb ones...
http://juggler.com/AlbertLucasLightbulbJokes/index.html

[Reeses2150]

Post by Norbi

Post by Nick Thomas
How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb? 2. One to
actually change it, and the other to figure out the siteswap for it. :)

Oooh, let's not get into the lightbulb ones...
http://juggler.com/AlbertLucasLightbulbJokes/index.html

Ohhh man :D Now I HAVE to come up with some about Jason Garfield XD

or maybe myself.....

hang on, let me go open up notepad.exe.....

[Al Teal]

A juggler went into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants.
The bartender said, hey, you've got a steering wheel sticking out of your
pants. The juggler said, I know. It's driving me nuts.

(The real juggler joke that I wanted to post was already posted so I had
to adapt.)
Al

[thegoheads]

Mitch Hedberg was a really funny stand up comedian. I was listening to
one of his CDs, and he had two jokes about juggling.


I went into a store, and bought 8 oranges. The clerk asked me if I wanted
a bag, and I said "No, I juggle! But I only juggle 8. If you ever see me
in here buying 9 oranges, bag'em up!"


I once saw a guy juggling chainsaws. It was pretty cool, but if you
needed to saw something down that would just be annoying. "Come on, man,
can't we use just one?"

[Viveca]

A. Love the meta-juggler jokes!

B. Chainsaw joke reminded me of this true story:

Another juggler and I were hanging drywall to finish the ceiling in a
bedroom of our loft. The next day while telling another juggler friend
about all the maneuvers we pulled and precarious objects we stacked to
balance ourselves and the drywall on, he asked, "Don't you have a pair of
drywall stilts hanging around somewhere?"

I do. They were hand-me-downs from Root (thanks again!). But it took both
of us a moment to figure out how his question was relevant to our
construction situation since we weren't planning to perform in there or
anything.

Viveca

[_HanS]

Post by thegoheads
I was trying to think of some good juggling jokes the other day to

http://www.jugglingdb.com/news/thread.php?group=1&id=200076&highlight=jokes%2Cfunny
http://www.jugglingdb.com/news/thread.php?author=Colin%20E.&lang=el&id=59530&group=1

Post by thegoheads
There are some good juggling jokes here, but there has to be more! Anyone
heard any good ones lately?
One of my favorites from the above threads is,
Q: What's the difference between a large pizza and a juggler?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.
That one really struck my funny bone for some reason.
(Heckler asks) Can you juggle chainsaws?!?
(Juggler replies) I used to. Until I cut both my arms off.... it's ok
though, they grew back.
Q: What do you call a juggler without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
Q: How many jugglers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: At least 10... Only 1 to change the bulb, and the rest to critique his
form.
Q: Who is the toughest guy at the circus?
A: The juggler, of course, because he's got the most balls.
Did you hear about the fires at the circus?! They were in tents!
(pronounced like "intense")
(that one is cheesy, but I like it)
Feel free to share any good non-juggling related jokes as well... after
all, anyone reading this is probably bored enough to need a good laugh :)

When people asked me if I can juggle chainsaws I used to reply: "Yes, but
the power chords always got tangled up"

I like the arm one though.. I'm gonna use that

HanS

[Aidan]

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[PinkNigel]

Post by _HanS
When people asked me if I can juggle chainsaws I used to reply: "Yes, but
the power chords always got tangled up"

So you usually perform to 80s metal tracks then?

[g***@stu.ca]

I don't have jokes per say, but I used puns for our juggling club posters at school. There would be three brightly coloured round posters, with saying like this:
Having trouble juggling your caseload? Juggle balls insteat in room...
Do school clubs make you want to throw up? Join the juggling club...
Afraid you might catch something? Get over your fears and ease into catching with the juggling club...
Join the juggling club so you can juggle clubs.

[d***@gmail.com]

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